so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
