Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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