I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
