you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
