We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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