I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
