Umm I'm too high to move.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
