See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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