they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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