And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
this hospital has no fireball
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
