He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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