my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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