Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
