My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
