As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize