Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
