I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
