I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
