New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
