I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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