If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Randomize
