How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
