there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You were trust falling into bushes
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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