If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
