Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize