So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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