i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
