Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
