and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
