Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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