Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
