I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
