i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize