it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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