We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
