She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
