Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
