the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
