just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
