brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
