worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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