things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So squirting runs in the family.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
