You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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