My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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