Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
