D3 body, D1 cock
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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