I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You're like the curious george of whores
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
