Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
