She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
