playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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