is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
People with herpes should wear stickers.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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