you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
