were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
