Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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