Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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