i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
