Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
