we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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